


Unspoken

by alittlehurricane



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire & Related Fandoms, A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Ghost!Daenerys, this is going to hurt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-27
Updated: 2019-06-27
Packaged: 2020-05-28 05:31:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19387492
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/alittlehurricane/pseuds/alittlehurricane
Summary: If anyone dared to speak to him, if he deigned to answer them, he couldn't tell when he first started seeing her. It felt now like she had never left for he couldn't let her go. Hearing her voice, seeing her was both the best and worst thing that happened since he had been imprisoned. It was salvation - an opportunity to say everything he regretted not saying. It was hell - a fix reminder of what he had done and how he had lost the woman he loved most in his whole life.He would give anything not to have killed her, but at least he still heard her voice now.





	Unspoken

**Author's Note:**

> Softtinymila on Twitter made a video of Jon speaking to Daenerys' ghost and I have been haunted by it ever since. I'm writing this to see if it hurts a bit less.
> 
> Again, English is not my first language, so I apologize for any mistakes. Feel free to point them out.

If he were a more logical man, he would be keeping count of the days since he was dragged by Grey Worm to this cell. He remembers waiting for the Unsullied to kill him, he hoped for it. But it was not to be.

"Jon Snow does not deserve death."

He had come to agree with Grey Worm. No, death would have been too easy. Darkness would take him and he wouldn't have to live with his regret or his shame. And if he died, he wouldn't see her anymore and that would be much worse.

He cried when he first saw her, her hair in braids, her heart devoid of any emotion toward him. It tore his heart apart to see all the love which he once saw in her face gone.

"I thought I'd never see you again." He let the tears flow from his eyes. "Am I dead? Have you come for me?"

"No." She disappeared and he didn't know if he was dreaming.

He wanted to dream again, but he couldn't even sleep. As he lay in bed, memories kept him awake, so many memories of the time they had together and they started mixing with the things he longed for. A family by her side, children with her hair and his eyes, a brown-haired girl who called him papa, Daenerys walking toward him on a beach somewhere. To think he could have had all that, were he not so weak.

When she showed up again, he confessed his thoughts.

"I should have killed him, the imp. For betraying you, for even suggesting I do that. I should never have trusted him."

"Neither should I."

But it didn't matter. He'd heard from the soldiers that Tyrion was killed, his entire plan discovered. How he had used Daenerys' armies to do the dirty work for him, how he fed her paranoia and tried to poison her along with Varys. He didn't want to Iron Throne for himself, it was too much trouble to keep. But he wanted a monarch he could control and he realized the Mother of Dragons wasn't that person. He didn't expect Grey Worm to murder him as soon as he found out, fulfilling one of his Queen's last orders.

* * *

"It wasn't right what I did."

Today, she was crying. "No."

"Will you forgive me?" She must know what was in his heart, regret as he had never known. A pain worse than a thousand knives.

"It doesn't matter now."

He got up from his cot with a shout. "IT MATTERS TO ME."

Shaking her head, she disappeared from his sight and he didn't know if he wanted to scream more or never speak again. He was going mad, he knew, but it was well deserved.

* * *

If anyone dared to speak to him, if he deigned to answer them, he couldn't tell when he first started seeing her. It felt now like she had never left for he couldn't let her go. Hearing her voice, seeing her was both the best and worst thing that happened since he had been imprisoned. It was salvation - an opportunity to say everything he regretted not saying. It was hell - a fix reminder of what he had done and how he had lost the woman he loved most in his whole life.

He would give anything not to have killed her, but at least he still heard her voice now.

"I loved you like no other before. I saw you in my dreams before I even knew you, a shadow lover."

This hurt him the most, these things he had never heard her say in life. He didn't know if they were real, if he made them up... No, if he made her words up, she would have forgiven him already. She would lay by his side, she would still love him.

She wouldn't look at him as she does now, with so much pain. A hand holding her round belly, her face gaunt and beautiful, a promise of what he could have had.

"We would rule together. Bring freedom, create life, build a better world... None of that matters now."


End file.
